Reflections.....

So this is the week we were in Ethiopia last year. I have been thinking about it all week. Wow, so much has changed since we brought her home. When we picked Marlee up she was so quiet, babbled a lot, but had a quiet personality. I remember her sleeping almost the entire plane ride home and then we put her in her crib the first night and she slept the entire time. The time difference did not make any difference. She was very difficult to make smile at first. I look back and see how scared she was but at the time I thought it was just her personality. Now that I know Marlee, I can tell you that is not the case.

So what am I thinking about? I am really thinking about Marlee's birth father who we got to meet in Ethiopia. I am framing a picture of us with him and putting it in Marlees room. There is so much talk going around, in the adoption forum world, and some on the news about international adoption ethics. There are some heated discussions and some very valid points on both sides. All I can say is after meeting Marlee's Father, I was at peace with his wishes for her. Yes there was an interpreter and yes, they could have not told me everything but when I looked into his eyes and gave him a hug, I knew this was what he wanted. There were others who met birth family that day who did not have the same experience we did, Marlee's father was at peace with his decision, he did not have to say a word. I do frequently look at Marlees sweet face and see him, the resemblence is so great! What a blessing he has given to us, I hope he knows!

So Marlee is growing like a weed, 75th percentile for height and 40th for weight. She now is sweet but boy she will let you know when she is mad. Yes she is a woman:) We went for her late 15 month check up and the Dr. was amazed at her progress. She did her dance for her. It is quite cute, she moves her legs quickly like she is running in place and spins in circles, she likes to do this to Single Ladies by Beyonce. Docter was impressed with her ability to move her legs that quickly.

Noah and Della absolutely adore their little sis. Honestly, I have to watch them so closely because they can't take their hands off of her. Noah is doing AMAZING in school. He is in first grade and taking 2nd grade math plus ahead in reading. Della is headed to Kindergarton next year, I can't believe it. I just signed her up. The school will not know what hit them, I love that kid, her spirit is one of a kind!

On the adoption side, our homestudy has been approved. Now we send it to CIS and wait to get fingerprinted. Pray for a fast process, the website says 3 months but that is really high, I can't imagine it taking that long. We have our dossier done and taking it this week to the Sec. of State to get verified then sending it in. After that, my job is done. We don't get put in the waiting category until our CIS approval comes so it will likely be 2 months or so and then from that time 1-10 months until we find out who our boy is. After that there is about a 3 month wait to travel. Our wait will likely be on the short side but we are prepared for anything.

Well all for now!

Wow, it has been quite the two weeks......

Since I posted last we have been really busy with paperwork, had our home study, it went well and surgeries. Lets start with the paperwork. Turns out I am very quick when it comes to this. We are just waiting on a few background checks to get the home study ready to go to WACAP(the agency we picked) for approval. After approval, our social worker is sending in our I600A and the bummer on that is that it says Indiana is taking 3 months for approval, that this is about a month longer than last time. Once we get cleared from CIS we are on the waiting list. The wait is about 1-10 months, probably on the low side for an older child. After a referral we will have about 1-2 months to court and then about 1-2 months to travel. The courts shut down in Ethiopia during their rainy season, August through early October, so cases will not be heard then. We are hoping to have a holiday homecoming but are OK even if it is next year!

So for the surgeries, Steve go his ability to produce offspring taken away last Friday. I have to say he took it like a trooper, I also don't think I have much sympathy after 2 c-sections:) Now that Steve is done, we take Noah in tomorrow. For what, well it is quite interesting. His circumcision was not done right when he was a day old:( We have been asking the Dr. about it for years but she kept saying he would grow into it, well it turns out they forgot to snip some skin. OK too graphic, but she finally looked at it closer and now we need to take care of it. The cute little guy is not even nervous, he just knows that Daddy had something last week and it is his turn this week. That kid is fearless, love him:) So I will be taking care of my other man this weekend.

We are also coming up on our 1 year famiversary on March 28th. I am not sure what we are going to do but it is a holiday in our home:) Marlee has been such a blessing and I don't know what life would be like if we hadn't followed our hearts to Ethiopia. We fell in love with her and we can't wait to fall in love with our other child, yet to be known, in Ethiopia.

Some exciting news............

Well, I realize that I haven't blogged in about 4 months. The Facebook thing got me and it is quite convenient. I also realize I need to blog to keep track of all the things that happen, that I will someday forget. So I am now going to start blogging again and I am going to make my blog public but not searchable on the Internet. So, the news.............

We are starting the adoption process again for a child from Ethiopia. We have actually been working on paperwork for about 3 weeks but just haven't said anything because we felt we might be crazy. Then we attended church this past weekend and the Pastor was talking about a step of faith and how it is not logical and can be scary but you have to know God will be there to walk with you and be there at the end of the journey. He specifically mentioned adopting a child. Now when we went to church Saturday we had already sent money to the home study agency but had not told many people. I know God was speaking to us through that sermon and God has great timing. We were scared. A fourth child on one income, another adoption which is emotional and financially draining and all in this unsure economic time. So then we questioned our sanity but kept proceeding. Adopting again has been on our hearts for quite sometime and when I brought it up to Steve again, he was on board right away, umm that does not happen often:)

So we are on our way, our home study visit is in 6 days and we are excited. I have been working very hard on paperwork and will have it accomplished by Monday. The social worker can't believe how quickly I have gotten it done, I guess the second time around, you just do it and don't think about it. Here are some answers to questions you might have:

What age and gender child are you adopting?
We are hoping to get approved to adopt a boy age 3-4, right in between M and D. We know this will be a more difficult transition for the child being older but we are reading and learning about "older child" adoption.

When will he be home?
This is very up in the air. We hope to have him home by this time next year but with any adoption there is much uncertainty.

What agency are you going with?
We have not picked a placing agency yet. We loved CHSFS out of MN but they have bigger rules on adoption out of birth order than most agencies and don't have as many older child placements as some other agencies. We are seriously considering going with WACAP out of Washington. Again we have not decided yet.

How do the kids feel?
N and D are so excited. N wants to get a loft so he can share a room with his new brother and now D wants to get one so she can share a room with M. We are blessed with some loving kids who picked adopting a brother over a trip to Disney. Not that it was really a choice but I wanted to see what they would say. M doesn't understand but I am sure she will be happy to have a sibling that is from her same birth culture.

Over the next year we will for sure encounter some bumps, big and small. We may be asking for many prayers and will undoubtedly question our sanity. The one thing we won't question is this journey and why we are doing it. Adoption is an amazing process. We are so blessed with M in our lives and will be blessed with our fourth child as well. Hey to be totally honest, it sure beats a c-section:) Please stay tuned for our journey to our Ethiopian prince! So here we go and we shall remember that just because this journey is not the most logical and simple one, it doesn't mean we should not take it. Till next time(hopefully not too long:)

MARLEE!

Well Marlee is 1 and walking. She has also gotten quite loud in her old age, although we knew that would happen sometime. She is learning the ropes around here. What a beautiful child! She is obviously physically beautiful but everything about her is. She is pleasent most of the time and sleeps when I tell her to. She is a bit of a picky eater but we are working on that. She loves attention from anyone. She is very cautious and does not like to be disciplined. She gets her feelings hurt easily and crys when you say "no" sometimes. Smart little thing! We had a party for her a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to post some pics.

Disney!

So I am just catching up! I have not felt like blogging lately. No reason, just haven't felt like it. We had a great trip to Disney in early October. The kids were wonderful and Marlee had a great time with her Nanna and Grandma and Grandpa Whitlock. The kids were very surprised and got to ride on a plane. We usually drive everywhere but plane tickets were so cheap so we flew. Della was not so sure about the flying but Noah thought it was pretty cool. We went trick-or-treating at Disney, ate at Cinderellas castle and much more. Noah did not attempt the rollar coaster again(just the kid one) due to the fact when he was 5 I let him go on one and scared him to death. On the way home we met up with family who we had known through Kindermusik with kids our exactly the kids ages. They sat together on the plane and had a riot. I love Disney, I already want to go back. It think when you are there you really think that anything can happen and dreams come true. Atleast I do:) Here are some pics of our trip!

I know, I go private to blog more and then I don't blog:)

I think I am just getting lazy:) I go through spirts of heavy blogging then no blogging, go figure! Right now I am exhausted. I didn't get to sleep until 2:30am this morning and was quite frustrated. I think it was because I finished packing for our surprise trip and then decided I would have some Coke Zero. I know what caffeine does to me and yet I drank it, not a great choice.

So the surprise trip.....Steve and I are taking Noah and Della to Disney tomorrow. Marlee gets to stay with her Grandma and Nana. The kids have no clue. We are picking up Noah from school tomorrow at 1pm and then heading straight to the airport. This is very cool for two reasons, 1. Disney and 2. the plane ride. We did do some flights when Noah was little but when we had Della we started driving, even the 18 hours to Texas. Ever since we got back from Ethiopia, Noah has been begging to go on an airplane. Tickets were only $140 a piece, that would almost be cheaper than gas. Eventhough I can't stand to fly, we are doing it and we got a great deal at Disney. I am so excited, I love Disney!!!! When we went two years ago we learned the ins and outs so this should be so much fun. Della is also tall enough to ride most of the rides now!!

I feel bad leaving Marlee here but she wouldn't have nearly as much fun. I figure if we do Disney every couple of years she will be 3 when we go next so that should work out ok. She was 11 months old yesterday. She is cruising and letting go to stand alone. I wouldn't be surprised if she walked while we were away:( She is the happiest, sweetest baby. I have to wake her from her nap a couple of times a week to pick Della up at pre-school and I go in she is sound asleep and looks up at me with a huge smile. What baby wakes that happy? She is such a trooper and I am going to miss her for the next couple of days. She has been home 6 months now and has really become part of the gang.

I look back at how I felt when we first picked her up and brought her home. I was surprised that I did not feel that "instant love." Now I knew from reading books and talking with friends that many don't feel it. I just thought I would be an exception to the rule. The word "babysitting" is often talked about in the adoption world. When she first came home that is what it felt like, babysitting. Now it was some easy babysitting because she was an excellent baby, still is, but the bond did not come for either of us quickly. I learned that she needed the "act" of love and that is something I could do, the rest would come later. Guess what, the rest did come later:) I love her now, there are days when I get twitches of ok, what did I just do, but now I love her like I love Noah and Della.

Some of you who have not adopted might not believe how one could feel this way but I am being truthful. I have many people call me now and ask me about our experience. We had an amazing experience! This is just one of the realities of adoption.

I will post pics soon!

BLOG GOING PRIVATE on SUNDAY

I have tossed this idea back and forth and have decided to make my blog private. I have had no problems but I just think with all of the kiddo pics on here it might be a good idea.

You will still be able to view the blog if I have your email address. If you get my mass emails, sorry about that, than there is no need to respond but if you don't and you want to continue reading the blog please comment on this post. In your comment please include your email address and how you know me ex) most people reading my blog are fellow adoptive families through our agency or forums. I WILL NOT POST THESE COMMENTS!!! The comments go straight to my email.

The only thing that will change is when you would like to read the blog you will need to sign in. Thanks for your understanding!

Have a great night!

Della's Haircut:)

I know I have not posted in a while but life gets busy! While away from my blogging we had a little bit of an incident! On Labor Day we had our friends over who have two kids the same ages as N and D. Well the boys were playing the Wii and the girls were being so good. We thought, wow, they play so well together! Turns out they do, they play beauty shop well together. Yep, they gave each other haircuts. Don't ever let anyone tell you that kids scissors don't cut hair because they do and Della's head was proof! After a brief superficial moment of being very upset, OK it was more than a moment I took D to my mother's to see what she could do with it. Turns out my mother had no sympathy because I happened to like to play beauty shop too while I was little. I always wondered why she had my hair cut so short for a while:) Well Mom tried but not much success as you can see in the pre-paid haircut photos. Finally I called my hairdresser with an emergency call, Della started school the next day, we couldn't have our first day a bad hair day:) She got her right in and $40 later she looks better than she did before. I have to admit I like her hair short, it shows off her gorgeous face and it is adorable with pig tails. Now, I will NEVER tell her that until she is reading this blog when she is older! That has really been the most significant thing that happened since my last post.

Today we had a great day! My friend from HS and her family came over. We just recently reconnected under not so great circumstances. My friend Missy's daughter is taking radiation and chemo here where we live. She is exactly D's age and they get along quite well. They also have a little one that is a couple months younger than Marlee. They came over for lunch today and we talked, played the Wii, the girls dressed up and it was a great relaxing day. It was great to catch up with Missy again, she is the tiniest little thing but the girl has so much strength. She has always been that way but it amazes me now. Very cool family and we look forward to hanging with them more!

Other than that we have been happy to be regularly going back to church after a summer of weekends away or performing. I am helping lead worship for the youngsters and my first Sunday is tomorrow. I truly feel like there is nothing better than witnessing kids worshiping, makes me smile and God too! Off to watch a bit more on Hurricane Ike. I have lots of family in the Houston area!

Marlee is 10 months today!

It is hard to believe our little Marlee has been home 5 months now. She has changed and grown so much. When she got here she was between the 5-10th percentile for height and weight. Now she is in the 50th percentile for both. The first few months she was with us she didn't cry much but was very pleasant. She just dealt with everything. Now, she screams when she wants something and when she gets in trouble, yes she does get in trouble. Not that she isn't pleasant anymore but we are beginning to see that she has some spunk in her, that could also be nurture:) Another thing I find wonderful is that when she arrived she didn't really care who was holding her or if you left the room, she just loved everyone. Now when I leave the room she gets mad! She also knows who I am and sometimes is turned off by strangers. This is all good and means she is attaching well.

Marlee is crawling, pulling up, eating solid foods. She likes grilled zucchini, unlike my other two who plug their noses when I make them eat all of it on their plate! She is still very scheduled and takes two naps a day but is generally happy if she gets thrown off a bit. I can't imagine life without her in it. She has been such a blessing to us! When she is napping I think of the next time I will get to see that smile and let me tell you, it is always there when she is in her crib waiting for "Ma ma" which she says well.

As I look at the pictures I can't believe the journey we have taken for the past year and a half. It was the most amazing one! I don't like to push adoption on people because I honestly do not think it is for everyone but if you even have a slight interest in it I highly recommend doing more research before dismissing it. You will never be the same after the experience. You will look at life different, people different and the world different. Not only that you will change your other children's lives as well. There is my plug I guess. Now enjoy the first and most recent pics we have of our Ethiopian Princess! The two first pics are her referral picture and one that was taken in Ethiopia! Enjoy!

Marlee is 10 months today!

It has been a strange two days!

So the past few days have been different or I guess you should say made me feel different!

Lets start with Monday. Della has had 3 UTI's and a kidney infection in the past year so she had to be scheduled for a VCUG and ultrasound. They needed to check and see why this is happening. She had to take a liquid sedative because it is quite an uncomfortable procedure for little ones. Della on a sedative, wow, I was crying I was laughing so hard. The girl reminded me of myself when I have had a few. What a giggler. She looked at me and was an inch away from my face, noses almost touching and says in a shocked voice, "Mom you have two eyes!" I think she met one looked like two but who knows. The nurses were all laughing at her because she was such a cutie. I should have had my video camera because I have not laughed that hard in ages. Then we went to see my mother after the procedure with strict instructions that Della could not walk for two hours. Well she was hungry so my mom pulled out the Cheetos and put the can in front of her and she stuck her hand in, thought she had one but did not, brought her hand to her mouth and took a bite of nothing. We were laughing like crazy and she thought it was great she was so funny!

While I was at Mom's I got a call from Noah's school nurse saying her fell running at recess and has a bump on his head. She said they iced it and he went back to class. I asked if he was OK and she said he was much better than some of her 5Th graders, tough guy. When he got home I looked at the bump and it was quite large.

Then I get a call from Della's Dr. saying that she needs to see a urologist because they think she has a duplex kidney. Of course they didn't give me specifics just said the Urologist would explain. Great, like my mind needs to wander more than it does. I did do research on the Internet and it doesn't sound horrible so my outlook is positive! That was yesterday. Needless to say it ended with a walk with my cuz Kate because I called her and told her she was going no matter what! Thanks Kate for being my stress relief!

Now for Tuesday....On Saturday night while at the lake my friend Brenda called me and told me that a regular member of the church service I just left had lost her battle with cancer and her funeral was Tuesday. She was an amazing woman and so warm. She asked me if I would sing with her, my other friend Lauren and our friend and pastor Carolyn for the funeral. I said yes. That was this morning. What an experience. Carolyn was my pastor for about 5 years before she moved to another church. She is a wonderful speaker and such a loving person. I sang with Lauren and Brenda in a Contemporary Christian quartet for about 3 years. Our 4Th member Emily, flew south to Florida:( Anyway I have not felt so close to God in a while. It was a beautiful service. My friend Richard played piano and he is an amazing musician. We haven't sung together in a year and we picked up right where we left off. I miss them and the worship we create together. Female vocalists are a dime a dozen, I can say that because I am one, but if you put three soloists together and they can blend and sound like one, now that is something. What an experience, that is all I can say! God works in mysterious ways. When we were together as a group we could barely get our schedule to work out for a service months in advance but we had a couple days notice and we made it work. I am thankful for this service, for the woman that was celebrated and for the experience she gave me.

OK, that is as deep as I get now. Tomorrow is a new day and we have Marlee's last meeting with our home study agency! Wow! She has been with us almost 5 months and is really just one of the gang! Yes these past two days have been strange but great! BTW- keep on reading, I did some serious post catch up today!